Why Is It So difficult To Stay In Your Lane? - Newsletter Series Nº 5

I've been pretty busy lately with work and teaching at Santa Monica College and haven't been around the house a lot during the day.  My 20-year-old son is at a transitional point in his life, and while he is trying to figure out his next move, he has been staying with us in our small downtown apartment. We are making this somehow work as a family unit but as you can imagine, it has been very challenging considering that we are on top of each other in our shared space. We have realized that as long as we communicate effectively and are on the same page as it relates to goals, we can get through this.

I made a mistake this last week which was timely given the topic I wanted to write about for this newsletter. I had been growing increasingly frustrated with what appeared to be a “lazy” 20-year-old living on the couch--he would be asleep when I left for work and gone when I would get back home. In my eyes there did not seem to be any progress in the areas that I thought he was supposed to be working on.  One day I decided I needed to start putting the screws to my wife and son to address the lack of progress, assuming that because I was not seeing or hearing about any results, there must be no effort whatsoever. My main (brilliant) strategy consisted of dishing out little zingers at both of them about what I thought was or was not happening… I was quickly made aware to my embarrassment that there WAS effort and progress but that I had hastily jumped to conclusions instead of asking questions. Long story short, I was drifting out of my “lane of responsibility” and by doing this, I was actually making things worse for everyone!



The concept of “staying in your lane” is not new but I thought an interesting one to explore, especially in a work setting. I want to clarify from the get go that I am referring to people in leadership jumping into the lane of people that report to them, not the other way around (it can also happen between peer colleagues). Many in positions of leadership forget to stay in their lane and end up hurting more than they help. I believe the biggest driver to this behavior is people trying to control things outside of their realm of control which is very often driven by the lack of information.

I have always been fascinated with the concept of “fundamental attribution error” in which we attribute another’s actions to their character, while attributing our own behavior to external situational factors.  Due to lack of information our brains-often erroneously-veer towards the WORST possible scenario to explain someone's behavior. When you have leaders jumping into projects, conversations, decisions, and processes when they shouldn't partially due to this attribution error, the by-product tends to often be frustration of those whose lane somebody jumped in.  Many times, progress is slowed down, team member confidence can erode, and morale is torpedoed.

As a metaphor think of Olympic swimmers with those floating lane dividers. These lane dividers keep the swimmers from veering off path and from running into each other. They also help to direct the swimmer with limited visibility with taking the shortest possible path from one end of the pool to the other. In addition, these dividers also break the waves caused by other swimmers which in turn reduces friction and allows swimmers to swim faster and more efficiently…I think you are getting where I am heading with this metaphor. Imagine if someone cannon-balled into your lane as you were cruising along. Distracting, inefficient, and frustrating comes to mind, wouldn’t you say?

I’m not going to put the blame squarely just on leadership for this one as I believe some of the onus is also on the person who allows this repeatedly to happen without speaking up. It is important and 100% acceptable to speak up as this feedback is often the only way the other person can become aware of their behavior.

For those who repeatedly have jumped into other people’s lanes, here is a (gut) check list of questions you should ask yourself BEFORE you act:

Do I really have all the information needed to support my decision on getting involved or am I too hastily jumping to conclusions? We all need to be quick on our feet nowadays but it is so important that we think before we act and are not making assumptions.  
 

How much is this about my need to take control and take charge?This one requires the ability to be self-aware of one’s personality traits.

Am I often overwhelmed by the fact that I have too much to do?This happens to many leaders in the workplace (including myself): We feel like we cannot get ahead because we have more work than we can handle but more often than not you will find it is because you are taking on other people’s job responsibilities through lane jumping.

For those who need to speak up about someone jumping into their lane, I would like to share the following story: One of my colleagues who has over a decade of skills and experience was hired as a subject matter expert by a company. An executive leadership team member was so heavy handed with critiquing her and directing her work that it reached a boiling point. She drummed up the courage to tell this leader:

You hired me for a reason. I have the skills and experience in this area. Let me do my thing.  If it doesn’t work out, I am open to feedback on how to improve.

Instead of getting upset or doubling down on his micro management approach, the leader let his guard down and admitted he was in the wrong. He even went so far as to buy a gift for her to show his gratitude after she successfully finished the project. What makes this story great is not only the ending but also the leader’s ability to self-reflect and take corrective action. 
 
Do you have a story about somebody jumping in your lane? Or would you be willing to share a time you caught yourself lane jumping? I would love to hear from you!